- two examplary stories -
During our work at NMCT we have dealt with the story of every single
Abhaya girl – sometimes only in a briefly, sometimes in a more intensive way.
To document these stories for the NGO and for Abhaya’s funding organizations, we
have created a profile of every girl that lives in the hostel at the moment. As
we thought it is interesting for you to know from which kind of background our
girls come, we would like to share two “example-stories” with you. Please note
that we have changed the names of all family members, as well as the living
place to protect privacy!
Priya
Born in: 1999
Joined
Abhaya: 2009
Family: mother
(HIV-positive), father (no contact), stepfather (†,
HIV-positive),
siblings: 13 years older sister, 3 years younger half sister
Education: 2nd year at a governmental
industrial college
Family
background:
Priya’s
home is a small stone house in a suburb of an industrial city, located directly
next to a loud and restless highway. It is the place where already her mother
has grown up and has been living all her life.
After the
marriage Priya’s father moved in, but right from the start it was a
difficult time as he had another affair and thus provoked a lot of
fighting. Shortly after Priya’s birth he left his wife and daughters, so for Priya
her stepfather and half sister are her "real" family.
The stepfather’s
salary as an electrician became the main income of the family and even though
it was not much, it was sufficient to cover their needs. In 2006, however, he
started to suffer heavily from the numerous side effects of HIV and passed away
in the same year. Priya’s mother, who then got to know that she is infected by the HI virus as well, had
to start to work as a colie (daily wages), but until today her health condition
is weak and her income very low.
Reason
for joining Abhaya
While
staying at home, Priya’s mother was not able to look after her, as she was
working until the evening. Still, her income was not sufficient to pay the
educational fees for both of her children, often there was not even enough
money to have three proper meals a day. Abhaya was seen as a possibility for
Priya to continue her studies, while living at a save and caring place. Since a few years her half sister lives in Abhaya as well.
Development
Living
without her mother has been a big step for Priya. When she came to live in the
student shelter, she was extremely shy and did not talk much. Even though this
character trace still comes out when she has to face new and unfamiliar
situations, she has changed into a grown up girl. She started to manage the
everyday life in the student shelter and often conducts little meetings in
which she advises the younger girls. Priya is extremely happy that she has the
chance to stay in “her Abhaya”. She really appreciates that here she has always got
everything she needs or wants – like soap, dresses and school material -
as this is something she could not experience at her home.
Future
plan
After
having completed her 2nd year at college, Priya wants to move to her
mother again as it is her intention to support her. Her plan is to start to
work part time in the field of mechanical engineering and to use the evening
time to visit an open university for higher studies. Her education will be
further supported by NMCT.
Boowaneswari
Born in: 2002
Joined
Abhaya: 2015
Family: mother, father, three years
older sister
Education: 9th standard at a
governmental High school
Family
background
Boowaneswari
comes from a rural tribal village in Coimbatore district. In her family the
mother is leader, breadwinner and educator of the children, as the father has a
serious drinking problem. While he lingers around in the neighbourhood or at
home, the young woman works at a farm, where she gets a daily wage of 120 RS.
Generally this is enough to cover the family’s needs, however, the father
sometimes commands that all money should be given to him, as he then spends it
on his alcohol. To get his will he employs verbal, but also physical violence. Boowaneswari
had to experience this as well when her father sometimes forced her not to go
to school. At such days she stayed at home and helped in the household.
Normally, however, she visited the governmental middle school in another
village.
Reason
for joining Abhaya
As Boowaneswari’s
old school only has classes up to 8th standard, she had to change to
a different school for her higher studies. The nearest possibility was a governmental high school, 16 km away from her native place. But there are no frequent
running busses and even if there would be, the family does not have enough
money to afford the travel expenses. So Boowaneswari dropped out of school
without having completed her secondary.
In order
to provide her a better future than her sister, who works as a child
labour, NMCT’s tribal development project has brought her to Abhaya. Now she
has not only the chance to continue her studies, but will get support until she
is finally settled. Furthermore, the student shelter offers her a save and
child friendly atmosphere to live in.
Development
Boowaneswari
has not been in Abhaya for a long time yet and is still a rather shy girl. As
she did not speak Tamil in her native place, she has little difficulties to
communicate as well as she does not understand the lessons at school as easily
as other girls. Generally, her level of self-confidence regarding her skill and
outer-appearance is very low.
Still,
she puts a lot of effort into her studies and is willing to learn. This is not
only restricted on schoolwork, Boowaneswari is generally open-minded and takes
part in all offered programs. A recent Life Skill training has also helped her
to speak more honestly and freely to other people. Even if the relationships
might not be so deep yet, she definitely gets along well with all the other
girls! It might also be a little help for her that some other children from her
old school joined Abhaya too.
Future
plan
In the
next years Boowaneswari will concentrate on her studies. It is her intention to
finish 10th standard and to visit a college afterwards.