Where do our girls really come from?

- two examplary stories -

During our work at NMCT we have dealt with the story of every single Abhaya girl – sometimes only in a briefly, sometimes in a more intensive way. To document these stories for the NGO and for Abhaya’s funding organizations, we have created a profile of every girl that lives in the hostel at the moment. As we thought it is interesting for you to know from which kind of background our girls come, we would like to share two “example-stories” with you. Please note that we have changed the names of all family members, as well as the living place to protect privacy!

Priya

Born in:                1999

Joined Abhaya:  2009

Family:                mother (HIV-positive), father (no contact), stepfather (†, HIV-positive),

 siblings: 13 years older sister, 3 years younger half sister

Education:          2^nd year at a governmental industrial college

Family background:

Priya’s home is a small stone house in a suburb of an industrial city, located directly next to a loud and restless highway. It is the place where already her mother has grown up and has been living all her life.

After the marriage Priya’s father moved in, but right from the start it was a difficult time as he had another affair and thus provoked a lot of fighting. Shortly after Priya’s birth he left his wife and daughters, so for Priya her stepfather and half sister are her "real" family.

The stepfather’s salary as an electrician became the main income of the family and even though it was not much, it was sufficient to cover their needs. In 2006, however, he started to suffer heavily from the numerous side effects of HIV and passed away in the same year. Priya’s mother, who then got to know that she is infected by the HI virus as well, had to start to work as a colie (daily wages), but until today her health condition is weak and her income very low.

Reason for joining Abhaya

While staying at home, Priya’s mother was not able to look after her, as she was working until the evening. Still, her income was not sufficient to pay the educational fees for both of her children, often there was not even enough money to have three proper meals a day. Abhaya was seen as a possibility for Priya to continue her studies, while living at a save and caring place. Since a few years her half sister lives in Abhaya as well.

Development

Living without her mother has been a big step for Priya. When she came to live in the student shelter, she was extremely shy and did not talk much. Even though this character trace still comes out when she has to face new and unfamiliar situations, she has changed into a grown up girl. She started to manage the everyday life in the student shelter and often conducts little meetings in which she advises the younger girls. Priya is extremely happy that she has the chance to stay in “her Abhaya”. She really appreciates that here she has always got everything she needs or wants – like soap, dresses and school material - as this is something she could not experience at her home.

Future plan

After having completed her 2^nd year at college, Priya wants to move to her mother again as it is her intention to support her. Her plan is to start to work part time in the field of mechanical engineering and to use the evening time to visit an open university for higher studies. Her education will be further supported by NMCT.

Boowaneswari

Born in:                2002

Joined Abhaya:   2015

Family:                 mother, father, three years older sister

Education:           9^th standard at a governmental High school

Family background

Boowaneswari comes from a rural tribal village in Coimbatore district. In her family the mother is leader, breadwinner and educator of the children, as the father has a serious drinking problem. While he lingers around in the neighbourhood or at home, the young woman works at a farm, where she gets a daily wage of 120 RS. Generally this is enough to cover the family’s needs, however, the father sometimes commands that all money should be given to him, as he then spends it on his alcohol. To get his will he employs verbal, but also physical violence. Boowaneswari had to experience this as well when her father sometimes forced her not to go to school. At such days she stayed at home and helped in the household. Normally, however, she visited the governmental middle school in another village.

Reason for joining Abhaya

As Boowaneswari’s old school only has classes up to 8^th standard, she had to change to a different school for her higher studies. The nearest possibility was a governmental high school, 16 km away from her native place. But there are no frequent running busses and even if there would be, the family does not have enough money to afford the travel expenses. So Boowaneswari dropped out of school without having completed her secondary.

In order to provide her a better future than her sister, who works as a child labour, NMCT’s tribal development project has brought her to Abhaya. Now she has not only the chance to continue her studies, but will get support until she is finally settled. Furthermore, the student shelter offers her a save and child friendly atmosphere to live in.

Development

Boowaneswari has not been in Abhaya for a long time yet and is still a rather shy girl. As she did not speak Tamil in her native place, she has little difficulties to communicate as well as she does not understand the lessons at school as easily as other girls. Generally, her level of self-confidence regarding her skill and outer-appearance is very low.

Still, she puts a lot of effort into her studies and is willing to learn. This is not only restricted on schoolwork, Boowaneswari is generally open-minded and takes part in all offered programs. A recent Life Skill training has also helped her to speak more honestly and freely to other people. Even if the relationships might not be so deep yet, she definitely gets along well with all the other girls! It might also be a little help for her that some other children from her old school joined Abhaya too.

Future plan

In the next years Boowaneswari will concentrate on her studies. It is her intention to finish 10^th standard and to visit a college afterwards.